I guess I'm saying all this here because I really feel like if I don't lose weight I am closing the door to marriage for myself. (In my mind) Men don't want to date or fall in love with fat people. They. just. don't. I'm 33 years old and I've dated through the years. I've seen men call, respond, act interested when I'm thinner...at this size it's as if I'm nonexistent. I'm not the biggest person in the world, but sometimes it feels like it. I've been on e harmony and match.com in the past and have always made my pictures in my profile public because I want to be able to see the guys I'm reading about as well. And, it's so interesting to see the guys close out communication with me before they've even exchanged emails. Of course I guess I've done this before too...you can usually tell a lot about someone from their pictures. You know if you could be attracted to them. I post pictures that are honest (although I have thought about photo shopping my head on someone else's body!), but I think I look like a normal person...
Sure... I wish my face wasn't so round and that I didn't almost have a double chin and I would really love an olive complexion that wasn't so porcelain white, but this is me. I never really thought much about disliking what I actually look like until the last few years when I really know that men don't see me as attractive. It's not actually my face, but my body...a real woman size 18...smart, professional, funny, normal, and confident with everything about my life except the number on the scale!
On one of those sites you have to describe your body type...slender, athletic, curvy, about average, etc. You get to choose what body type you are 'interested in'. I've not seen any (or many) people check the pretty plus choice. I don't know what all the terms are but I'm saying the guys that seem interesting to me have put stipulations on their matches for them to be athletic toned or slender. I understand, I think it is a sign (to them) of weakness or another problem they want to not get into. But I believe I'm a good person, I'm not gorgeous but I can look nice. I have great taste in clothes and accessories. I'm just a regular person who would like to have a date with someone decent and charming of the opposite sex! I eventually got so discouraged from those dating websites that I stopped joining. I told myself...when I lose weight I'll try again. Just one more thing to add to my list of "Things to do when I lose weight"...I wonder when that will be?
