I guess I'm saying all this here because I really feel like if I don't lose weight I am closing the door to marriage for myself. (In my mind) Men don't want to date or fall in love with fat people. They. just. don't. I'm 33 years old and I've dated through the years. I've seen men call, respond, act interested when I'm thinner...at this size it's as if I'm nonexistent. I'm not the biggest person in the world, but sometimes it feels like it. I've been on e harmony and match.com in the past and have always made my pictures in my profile public because I want to be able to see the guys I'm reading about as well. And, it's so interesting to see the guys close out communication with me before they've even exchanged emails. Of course I guess I've done this before too...you can usually tell a lot about someone from their pictures. You know if you could be attracted to them. I post pictures that are honest (although I have thought about photo shopping my head on someone else's body!), but I think I look like a normal person...
Sure... I wish my face wasn't so round and that I didn't almost have a double chin and I would really love an olive complexion that wasn't so porcelain white, but this is me. I never really thought much about disliking what I actually look like until the last few years when I really know that men don't see me as attractive. It's not actually my face, but my body...a real woman size 18...smart, professional, funny, normal, and confident with everything about my life except the number on the scale!
On one of those sites you have to describe your body type...slender, athletic, curvy, about average, etc. You get to choose what body type you are 'interested in'. I've not seen any (or many) people check the pretty plus choice. I don't know what all the terms are but I'm saying the guys that seem interesting to me have put stipulations on their matches for them to be athletic toned or slender. I understand, I think it is a sign (to them) of weakness or another problem they want to not get into. But I believe I'm a good person, I'm not gorgeous but I can look nice. I have great taste in clothes and accessories. I'm just a regular person who would like to have a date with someone decent and charming of the opposite sex! I eventually got so discouraged from those dating websites that I stopped joining. I told myself...when I lose weight I'll try again. Just one more thing to add to my list of "Things to do when I lose weight"...I wonder when that will be?
7 comments:
Sweetie, You are being to hard on yourself. You look very pretty in that picture. It sounds like you are a little depressed and you are being to down on yourself. Put a smile on your face and think positive.
I have been down lately also. I have gained some of my weight back and I can't seem to get back in the groove. I get depressed when I start thinking about the way I used to look. LOL
I would love to be a size 6 and 110 pounds again, but I know it will never happen.
As far as men, you want the right one. If somebody is not interested in you because of your weight then you don't need them anyway. What matters is what is on the inside. I could go on and on with this post, but I won't. Don't give up on your weight loss. Many days are frustrating but just keep on keeping on. It is better to loose slow than fast. If I can be of any help to you email me.
I am looking for your next post to have some happiness in it.:)
A big (((Hug))) to you. I hope your week is wonderful.
Found this via Zandria's blog - I am having the same problem. Men are so freaking superficial sometimes.
Dating sucks - but I have to say - you are simply beautiful.
Hi, My name is Alyson I have been following your blog and I have struggled with my weight my whole life. In August I started a new program that a great friend had done last year and has kept the weight off.
I wanted to share it with you. Also do not give up on marriage just continue to pray for God to prepare your husbands heart for you. Be specific in what you want. I just met my soulmate on eharmony and he is more then I could ever imagine and he loves me for me not my size. There are good guys out there.
Here is my contact person Brian his email address advancedwtloss@yahoo.com. It is for the Releana program. Tell him you are a friend of mine.
I started on Tuesday 08/05/08 and I weigh in every Tuesday morning so far I have lost 30lbs and over 44 inches.
I heard about this program from my roommate’s boyfriend he lost 85 lbs in 90 days and has only gained 5 lbs back since January, he has been working out so that is understandable.
It is really simple here is an overview
In the morning you get up use the restroom and take your Releana hold it under your tongue for 1 min
Wait at least 30 mins and then you can have any zero calorie beverages as much as you would like
Mid Morning you have 1 of the following Fruits (1/2 a grapefruit, small orange, an apple, or 6 large strawberries)
For Lunch you have 3.5 oz of chicken, lean steak, or White Fish (including Shrimp, Crab and Lobster) and 3.5 oz of veggies to many to list
Mid afternoon Snack you have 1 of the following Fruits (1/2 a grapefruit, small orange, an apple, or 6 large strawberries) but it must be different from the one you had in the morning.
For Dinner you have 3.5 oz of chicken, lean steak, or White Fish (including Shrimp, Crab and Lobster) and 3.5 oz of veggies to many to list but it must be different from the one you had in the morning.
10-14 hours from the time you took you morning dose of Releana you take you second dose same way hold it under your tongue for 1 min
The afternoon Releana can be taken before or after dinner I want to say it is 30 mins before or an hour after.
Dinner needs to be 3 hours prior to bedtime.
It is a restrictive diet of 500 calories but amazingly enough you are not hungry. You also need to drink 2-4 liters of water a day.
The more you drink the more you lose.
During the first 21 days your body actually resets your hypothalamus which in turn resets your metabolism.
Here is all of Brian's info.
Brian Harwood
Advanced Weight Loss & Wellness Center
104 Annex Way, Easley SC 29642
phone: 864-373-9162
fax: 864-373-9164
advancedwtloss.com
Both my sister and I have been doing it and it is great.
Alyson
Hey there. I feel like I could have written this post myself!! I never joined eharmony or match.com, but I did as much of the "free" parts of them that I could--not that there was much. I had a profile on yahoo dating and got 2 responses. I went out with both of them, and one never contacted me again and the other used his 2 year old son to "woo" me and proposed marriage on the 1st date!!
I met my husband when I was probably 100 pounds skinnier than I am now. Maybe that's an exaggeration, but once we started seriously dating I started to gain more weight. I asked him one time long ago if he would still love me if I were "fat" to which he replied that he would always love me, but would probably not be attracted to me.
Today, I am the heaviest I have ever been and my husband pays no attention to me whatsoever--physically.
I have managed to lose 10-12 pounds, depending on the time of day I weigh myself. I have been on that Alli diet and took the pills. I lost 15 pounds on that and gained it all back plus 5 pounds when I quit taking it. I've done LA Weightloss, Weight Watchers, South Beach and Slim Fast all to no avail.
It's so hard to lose weight. Skinny people don't understand what it's like to basically starve yourself. I don't know about you, but dieting just makes me more hungry. Drinking more water doesn't help me not be hungry. I don't know the answer either!! My doctor has told me I just need to eat better and get more exercise. She's skinny and doesn't have a 2 year old at home. I'm just too tired when I come home from work to work out for 2 hours!!
Anyway, just wanted to say I feel your pain and wish I had an answer!
Hi! I found your blog from your blog designer's site...I'm currently struggling through a weight loss journey too, so the title of your blog really jumped out at me. Thank you so much for your honesty and openness about your journey, for some reason I feel ashamed to talk about weight loss (and my failure with it) even though it's not like people think I'm thin and don't need to lose weight! I started losing weight in July of 2007, lost 40 lbs, and then gained back about 15, so to date, I'm only down 25 lbs which feels like a HUGE failure, considering it's been over a year! It's such a frustrating, emotional struggle, that truly affects the core of my self-worth. It's so weird, the last thing God would ever judge us on is our appearance/weight etc., and yet it can be all consuming. Anyways, I'm just blabbing, but I really want to thank you for your blog and again, your honesty. I just felt comforted knowing I'm not alone (but at the same time wishing we were being successful together, instead of struggling:)
You are beautiful, and God has a man just for you (I know, I know, how cliched and unhelpful), but it's true. I'm praying for you, and am so in awe of your adoption of your baby girl, I am so passionate about adoption (I have one daughter, not adopted, but plan on adopting in the future) and I love seeing other people passionate about it as well. I will be watching (if that's ok) to see your journey through adoption and 'meet' your beautiful little girl!
I hope it's not too weird that I just randomly found your blog, but thanks for it and I wish you all the best!
Hey there! I came across your blog through "Peeptoes Pumps and Pearls" and I am truly inspired! I went through a weight loss journey myself through weight watchers and I ended up losing a lot of weight. The main turning point for me was when I found an exercise that I like and enjoy. That is a huge thing! For me, it was running, but for you, maybe it is swimming, walking, etc. A huge piece of advice I can give you is to start slow (with exercise). Maybe you can walk for 10 minutes and jog for 1 minute. As time progresses, you will find yourself wanting to run more than walk. I have a lot of confidence in you and I know you can do it! I know you haven't updated in awhile but I hope you update again soon! Have you ever heard of myfitnesspal.com? It is a free website where you can log everything you eat and record your exercise, etc. It is really beneficial and there are lots of handy tools! I wish you the best of luck and let me know if you have any questions, etc! :)
Hi, there! Wandered onto your blog and felt as though I was reading something I could have written myself! Oh, the woes of trying to lose weight! I've been trying for about 15 years now! I was also single until three years ago (I found my Prince Charming at age 38), so I've BEEN THERE...the dating scene, the online social groups, etc. Hang in there! You are gorgeous and shouldn't be so tough on yourself. I can say that to you, of course, but I am so hard on myself. Isn't it funny how we do that...can see the beauty in others and have a harder time seeing it in ourselves?! We have also started an adoption journey. This is something I considered doing before I got married...I was completely prepared to adopt as a single mother. We have so much in common!
Anyway, hang in there and be kind to yourself. You deserve that. Know that there are so many of us who sympathize with you. I've tried every diet imaginable (Weight Watchers, Weight Control for Life!, Nutri System, Doctor's Family Weight Loss Center, liquid diets, diet pills, and even weight loss surgery). It's only lately that I've been a little kinder and more forgiving of myself, and I've slowly seen the pounds come off. Slowly is the key word. It's not coming off fast, but at least the scale is going in the other direction lately!
Best wishes from another Tennessee Girl,
Paula
www.thewhisenants.blogspot.com
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